10 Incredible Ways to Start Creating the Relationship that You Want
by: Cucan Pemo
Everyone’s relationship is filled with ups and downs. In order to keep your relationship happy and healthy, you will want to understand that not only is perfection impossible, it’s also realistic. However, if you feel like your relationship needs some fine tuning, there are plenty of ways to create (or re-create) the relationship that you already have.
Ask for what you want
Sometimes it’s really as simple as asking your partner for the things you feel are missing. We commonly believe that once we’re in a relationship that our partner will know what we need – after all, the relationship is still working. But people can not be mind readers, so it’s your responsibility to ask for the things that will make you happy.
In this assessment of your relationship, you owe it to yourself and to your partner to be honest with each other. While lying can seem like the simple cover-up for problems and other issues, it only complicates the matters and can lead to further problems. What you need to do is trust in each other enough to tell when you need something more and tell them truthfully.
Learn about persuasion
What’s interesting about communication is that there are many ways to go about using it. Persuasion is an effective discipline for helping a couple learn the art of negotiating with each other in order to create a healthy relationship. Instead of focusing on one person who is right and another person who is wrong, persuasion allows you both to demonstrate your ideas and your goals and then creating a plan to achieve them.
Approach your relationship like a business
While this sounds unromantic, the idea of looking at your relationship as a business is a worthwhile process. By creating an overall goal (or mission statement) for your relationship, you can start to make decisions based on this overall idea. And the idea can guide your future together.
You can’t always get what you want – it’s the truth. But what you can do is learn what is important to you in a relationship and what is not. Sometimes compromising isn’t such a bad thing. When you allow your relationship to have the things it needs, that’s the main point. You don’t need to always get your way when the relationship is nurtured by an action.
Get to know each other
Love ? I love love love you. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)
A lot of times, we forget that we grow and change over our lives, and thus assume that our partners will always be the way that they’ve always been. However, when you want to help strengthen your relationship, you will want to look at your partner again to see what has change and what you can learn. You might be surprised at what you find.
Leave the house
Often, couples can become stuck in their homes and their routines, forgetting that life is just waiting for them to experience it. Why not try getting out once in a while? Couples that make the effort to leave their familiar surroundings once in a while are often happier in their relationship because they allow themselves to have a new perspective.
Try something new
Like heading out of the house, trying something new can create a new dimension to your relationship. By simply signing up for a new class or trying out a new exercise routine can help to bring you both together. Since you’ll have to learn this new activity together, you will be able to learn about how your partner deals with the process and watch them blossom into understanding.
Remembering the good
When we focus too much on the things that we don’t like about our relationship, we start to see only the bad. But when we try to focus more on the good stuff, we’ll see more of the good. What you need to do is start to create an optimistic attitude about your relationship. Try to think about things that are good about your partner first before you start criticizing the negative.
Forget the advice of others
But in the end, it’s not about what everyone wants you to do; it’s what will work for your relationship. Don’t hold yourself up to someone else’s standards – find what makes you happy and then do that.