Everyone feels insecure from time to time. It ranges from little fears like what people will think if they notice a stain on your shirt to full blown anxiety over being judged as a terrible person while you work your way through addiction recovery.
Interestingly, most of the time, those people we’re afraid of being judged by are too worried about what everyone is thinking of them to think about us at all.
Still, there are a number of things that we self-conscious people will feel regardless of what the logical parts of our brains try to tell us.
1. That spiraling panic when you think you hear your name in a conversation you’re not a part of.
Are they talking about me? What are they saying? Do I have something in my teeth? Did I do something stupid? Do they just not like me? Was I being annoying? They hate me. I hate this. What are they saying?!
No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that they probably weren’t talking about you at all, your brain fixates on the conversation until your fear is either cleared up or confirmed. (Which means you’ll probably agonize over it for months since you’re too self-conscious to go over and talk to them.)
2. Those crappy days when you just want to hide.
You wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and come to the realization that you are the ugliest/dumbest/weirdest/most terrible creature on the planet. It should be a crime for you to go out and interact with the rest of humanity.
Even though yesterday you liked yourself just fine, today you have to make a concerted effort not to just sulk back into bed and cover your face with blankets for the rest of eternity.
3. Job interviews can burn in hell.
You never get a second chance at a first impression right? So, there’s nothing like sitting across the desk from a stranger whose opinion of you will decide your future livelihood. You hyper-analyze everything they say and try desperately to be what you think they want you to be while they smile back at you condescendingly and tune out half of what you say.
4. Those nights you lie awake staring into darkness while your brain replays every dumb thing you’ve done since preschool.
Remember that time in kindergarten you told Bobby you loved him and he laughed in your face? Remember when you tried to cheat on that test in second grade and the teacher brought you up to the front of the class to publicly shame you for it? Remember that time you tripped in front of the guy you liked in middle school? Remember that dumb thing you said to your boss last week?
The other people involved in these memories probably don’t remember at all. But you sure do.
5. Compliments from strangers always sound like they’re mocking you.
“Hey, I really like your shirt.”
“Umm… Thanks?” I must look ridiculous. I am never wearing this again.
6. Compliments from friends and family sound like obligatory lies.
“Hey, good job doing that thing!”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks.” You’re just saying that because you love me.
7. Everyone around you seems to have it all together.
She probably wakes up looking like that.
Why does that guy have to be so good at that thing I like?
They look so happy.
Hey you, stop being so much more perfect than me!
When, really, they’re all thinking the same things.