Controlling Frustration

When you are dealing with emotions, in particular anger, anxiety and frustration you are taking on a heavy task. This is your personality we are talking about, your essence. Emotions are not only dependent on our own thinking, but we are having to deal with other people and situations which are harder to control.

CS Lewis, “A Grief Observed” aptly defines the situation. – “It doesn’t really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist’s chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on”.

Having used M-CPR in controlling temper I now realize that a harmonious and healthy life is one in which emotions are in sync with life’s Instances. INSTANCES being the interaction or interplay between human nature, karma, personality, m1oods, learned emotions, genetic and environmental factors time constrm aints, expected behavior, spiritual and communal beliefs, and a host of other factors that converge and precipitate action at a point in time.

An Instance sounds very similar to Synchronicity, a word coined by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung to describe the temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events.

Whether you agree with Jung or believe that things occur randomly makes for a good argument, however my interest is in dealing with what I can do to at that Instance to maintain emotional stability. This leads me again to being pro-active as the solution to always having a harmonious emotional outcome. As in dealing with anger it is the soul searching and self introspection that brings about a solution. Take frustration, by dissecting your personal causes of frustrations and dividing them into the M-CPR groups it will dissolve the impact of those frustrations.

Anger, frustration, anxiety, jealousy, envy, greed, vengeance, embarrassment and all the emotional human frailties which cause us mental and physical distress should be part of our self evaluation. Most people go through life rationalizing their actions, blaming others and yet they wonder why they still feel so miserable. Even those individuals who are known for their pleasing personalities and appear to be blessed with happiness can in fact be concealing emotions that work against their essence.

Frustration is the result of either internal or external factors. Are you frustrated as a result of another’s actions or are you frustrated because you have not met an internal challenge or goal. The commonly held belief is that external causes are beyond our control. Let me again stress that control of your emotions is something that must be pro-active. External causes of frustration are comnnmon to everyone. The most common being time constraints, conflicted personalities, or inadequate information.

Internal conflicts are a bit more emotional. Not meeting your goals, or not being able to attain your desires is a personal reflection of your essence. In many cases the frustration is internalized as failure and could accelerate to low self esteem.

The good news is I believe frustration to be one of the easiest of the emotions to control. In conjunction with self -evaluation it is easier to just walk away or mentally  redirect your thinking, since it is not quite as powerful as anger. Downplay the Instance and then move on. For example there used to be an old commercial with the phrase “Hoop, there it is”. You can take that and change it to “Oops, let it go”. As silly as that sounds after doing this a number of times it becomes a habit and when you feel frustrated it will pop into your mind and diffuse your frustration.

Internalize frustration for what it is. It is an Instance in time that is in conflict with preconceived ideas and expectations. If one is serious about developing self-mastery and leading a more harmonious and happy life then one should have reasonable control of their emotions. Few people will attain a state of emotional perfection and that is as it should be, otherwise life would be dull. We can however, limit the effects of dissonance so that most of our life can be pleasant.

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