Here are some core principles to take into account as you try to improve yourself throughout this journey of life. They are principles that I believe apply to all realms of personal development. If you are trying to be more healthy, or having more meaningful relationships, or improve your career, then you can follow these principles and have a better understanding on the things you need to do to evoke your best self.

Identify your positive attributes.

Whenever we find things about ourselves that we want to change, it’s very easy to focus only on our flaws, and forget the positive attributes we already have. Say you want to build more meaningful relationships, but you have a lot of past blunders. You may fall into the trap of thinking, “This is all who I am. I am just an awkward individual who doesn’t know how to interact with others.” But more than likely this isn’t true. Instead, you probably have some positive experiences with individuals, you just aren’t as likely to recall them while you are wallowing in your self-pity.

Think harder. I’m sure there are people who like you, now ask yourself, “What do they like about me?” Then take out a piece of paper and list out some of these positive attributes. Maybe you are:

• Funny
• Smart
• Respectful
• Interesting
• Loyal

Everyone’s list of positive attributes is going to be a bit different – it’s important you remain honest with yourself.

You can then expand on this list by recalling events in your life that reaffirm each attribute. Remember that one time you were at your friends house and you told that awesome joke that everyone laughed at? What about that time you helped someone with their math homework? Or that time you offered a listening ear when someone was going through a rough time in their life?

You see? You aren’t as incompetent as you may have first thought. By giving yourself periodic reminders on the things you’ve excelled at, you can better cultivate these qualities in the future. And by reflecting on these positive moments in greater detail, you may re-discover qualities about yourself that you had since forgotten. Use these past memories as a resource to learn from and build upon.

Raise your expectations.

Some people have what is known as an “Upper Limit Problem.” They want to improve themselves, but only up until a certain point. Once they’ve reached that point, they stop. Maybe they don’t think they deserve to go any further? Maybe they are actually scared of too much success? Or maybe they weren’t ready to do what it takes to maintain their new life?

Of course, no one can be infinitely successful, but the “Upper Limit Problem” hurts most when people know they are capable of more, but choose not to pursue it. They essentially halt their own growth, even though there is more potential to be tapped into. I imagine not pursuing something that you know you are capable of can be very frustrating. There is always that “What if?” question lingering in the back of your mind.

• What if I actually took that job as CEO?
• What if I married someone who I thought I really deserved, instead of just settling for what was available in the moment?
• What if finally finished that book I had been working on?
• What if I took that vacation to Europe back during my college years?

When we don’t expect much out of our lives, we tend to settle for things that could’ve been better. Some people have a habit of lowering their standards whenever their goals become a little more difficult then they would’ve liked.

But “successful people” (and I use this term loosely – because there are many different ways to be successful), are always trying to raise their standards. Maybe you’re a screenwriter who has already written 3 movies, but you want your next one to be your best. Maybe you’re a musician who is already signed to a label, but you want your next album to go platinum or win you a Grammy. Maybe you’re a blogger who is happy with 100 visits a day, but now you want to work your way up to 1,000 visits a day.

When average people achieve something, they become complacent to their current position in life (which isn’t always a bad thing). But when successful people achieve something, they are always looking for that next plateau.

I would recommend everyone to at least have one aspect of their life where they are constantly raising their standards. It gives you that feeling of “constant growth and progress,” which really gives you that sensation of being alive. It screams passion.

Discover positive role models.

When trying to achieve your best self, it is often useful to discover positive role models that embody characteristics that you would like to cultivate for yourself. You can find these positive role models anywhere: in movies, literature, TV shows, or in your real-life interactions with friends, family, and other strangers. You can use these influences as a resource to look up to and learn from. Imagine what they would do in certain situations, then model that behavior to see if it works for you.

Of course everyone’s different and no one is perfect, so you shouldn’t model everything from just one person. Instead, mix and match what works for you. Mike Tyson is a good model for having a competitive attitude, but you wouldn’t want to model his reckless behavior outside of the ring. Bono may be a good model for philanthropy, but you don’t have to necessarily enjoy his music. Being able to model people’s positive attributes, even if you don’t necessarily like them as a whole, shows intelligence and maturity.

Discovering positive role models in my own life has been one of the most effective strategies in my personal development. I currently have a list saved on my computer of over 100 different people who I think have personality traits that I would like to build within myself. I consider them archetypes I have consciously built in my mind, they symbolize different attributes like Humor, Courage, Spontaneity, Intelligence, Sexuality, Good Communication, among other things.

Be ready to experience growth pains.

Change is often always met with some kind of resistance. It takes a bit of wiggling to sometimes get comfortable in your new self, and you should be aware that when you first start making changes you are going to feel an urge to snap back to your original form (this may in part be due to the “Upper Limit Problem” discussed earlier).

As I’ve mentioned in other recent posts, it is nearly impossible to go through any stage of personal development without some level of discomfort or pain. It’s one of those things that is inevitable, but also a good sign that you are pushing yourself and exploring new territory. Successful athletes, for example, learn to embrace their physical pain as a sign of growth (this is epitomized in the popular phrase “no pain, no gain”). But similar pains are often experienced throughout other forms of personal development: starting a new relationship, a new job, or some other personal goal. The pain can be psychological as much as it is physical, but it will likely be there as you create your best self.

Please beware that not all pain is necessarily good. It may also be a sign that this isn’t what you really want. In that case it is important to reflect back on your values and goals, then determine if there is something to them that you hadn’t considered. Maybe when you were young you got the false impression that you wanted to be a doctor, but as you went through Pre-Med school you noticed the subject matter didn’t really interest you anymore. In that example, it may be appropriate to re-adjust your goals to something more suiting. Don’t just push through all pain blindly – make sure it is a sign of growth and not a sign that you are doing something that isn’t congruent with your best self.

Steven Handel is a frequent blogger on psychology and personal development who practices what he preaches. Check out more of his articles on personal development. If you really enjoy his writings then also subscribe to his personal development newsletter.

Prepare a resume that sells. Is your resume a timeline, historical document, or a sophisticated marketing and sales piece? Sell the employer on your best attributes and what you can bring to them. Quantify when possible!

This may sound like a no brainer but practice makes perfect. Actually practice answering interview questions. When I’m getting ready for a big job interview I think about all the questions I could possibly be asked during the interview and I already have my answers formulated in my mind. This way there are no long, uncomfortable pauses and I’m not scrambling to put something together on the spot.

Be prepared. Boy Scout motto or instrumental piece in landing a great career? Take a notepad to the interview with you. I usually jot down 3-5 accomplishments I am most proud of, my three biggest strengths, and my one weakness. Because you know they’re going to ask so you might as well be prepared. In addition to having your notes handy when they ask you those big questions you can also jot down notes during the interview. This is great because it makes the interviewer feel that you are really interested and are paying attention to what they are saying.

Be early. I recommend showing up 10-15 minutes early. Sure you will have to wait but what happens when the interviewer walks out to the waiting room and you’re not there yet? If you are going to be late because of an earth shattering emergency call ahead. But don’t be late! That pretty much assures the job is not yours. The common belief here is if you can’t make an interview on time you won’t make it to work on time. I would say that is a fair assessment.

Make sure you show up alone. When I was a recruiter for a staffing agency I don’t even want to go into how many people showed up for the interview and brought their family or kids along. This is a big no-no!

Bring extra copies of your resume. You never know when an extra person may sit in on the interview. I always bring one copy for everyone, a copy for myself and a few extras. Just in case there is someone extra.

I know you are nervous but do not fidget, play with your clothes, hair, jewelry, shoes, etc. It is just bad form.

When introduced make sure you smile, shake their hand firmly (but don’t break it) and wait to be seated until they sit down first. Common courtesy and professional etiquette – it’s the details that matter, believe me.

Answer their questions professionally and when applicable use an example from your previous experience. This confirms to your employer that you really do have experience in the area they are questioning you.

If they ask “Have you ever done…” something before and you have not; do not just say no. Say something like: “I have not actually had experience with that but I am confident that if someone showed me how I could do it.” Or “No, I have not done that before however, I am a fast learner and I am confident that I could learn quickly and provide the results you expect.” This communicates your willingness to learn new tasks, your ability to adapt easily and your confidence in your abilities. Being flexible and open is always a great quality!

When they ask if you have any questions do not say no! This is one of the biggest mistakes I see candidates make. If you say no it appears as though you have no interest. Even if they have answered all your questions surely there are some you can think to ask. I always have 2-3 questions jotted down on my notepad before I come in. They usually consist of ‘how the position/person is managed’, ‘what the management style is of the person who will be managing me’, and ‘what the next step will be in the hiring process‘. The last question is always important; you want to know where it is going once you’re done interviewing.

It is not okay to ask the interviewer “How did I do?” That is BAD FORM! And puts the interviewer on the spot and they will most likely not tell the truth because if your interview was awful they’re not going to come out and say you did horrible you’re not getting the job. Plus, the majority of interviewers will discuss the interview with other team members before they come to a conclusion about your performance and the next step for you.

When you leave make sure you thank them for their time and let them know you look forward to hearing from them soon. This conveys your interest and is a professional way to exit.

Follow up with a thank you note. Yes, you MUST send a thank you note. Do you have any idea how many people don’t send thank you notes? Do you know how many people that do send thank you notes actually get the job?! Every interview I’ve been on that I’ve mailed a thank you note to I’ve received an offer (minus one). In addition, the majority of hiring managers I know will give someone a second look if they thought enough to send a thank you note. It lets the interviewer know you are still interested in the position, you are excited about it, and you are thoughtful, organized, and professional enough to send a thank you note. Don’t question it – just do it and see what happens.

Do not call the interviewer every day asking about the status. This is so annoying and YES people really do this. Please do not be one of these people; it will get your name scratched off the list so quick you won’t even see it coming. Calling a week after you mail your thank you letter to check the status is acceptable, anything after that I think becomes a nuisance. Chances are if the job was yours within two weeks of your interview you would have heard something.

Last but not least do not put your eggs all in one basket. I knew someone that every time he had an interview he immediately stopped his job search. I never understood this; he stopped sending out resumes, stopped applying on line, and stopped mailing out letters. He put all his eggs in this one basket and sadly when it didn’t work out he had lost two weeks in his job search, had to start all over again and was more discouraged then ever. Getting a ‘no’ is inevitable you are not going to ace every interview and be the perfect fit every time.

If you stay consistent, focused, and look at finding a job like it is your full time job then eventually you will succeed and it will all be worth it. Keep these interview tips tucked away and refer back to them before each interview.

The key to experiencing the success you are looking for in all areas of your life, including personal growth and conscious creation of reality, is an understanding of your motive.

“You are not here to merely make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.” — Woodrow Wilson

A psychologist named Tim Kasser, along with a variety of other psychologists, has repeatedly done studies that show the direct correlation between aspirations and well-being. This is very important for us to be aware of, as many of our aspirations are unconscious, so only by becoming aware of them, can they be changed.

According to Kasser, there are two main types of goals/aspirations:

Extrinsic aspirations depend on contingent reaction of others and are typically engaged in as a means to an end. This type of aspiration includes such things as money, fame, and image (appealing appearance).

Intrinsic aspirations are expressive of natural growth tendencies and are likely to satisfy basic psychological needs. This type of aspiration includes such things as growth, connectedness, and helpfulness.

Basically through a variety of controlled studies, psychologists have repeatedly shown that intrinsic aspirations are conclusively related to higher well-being. Whereas extrinsic aspirations are related to a lower well-being and happiness.

When you get down to the primary reason why anyone wants anything in life it is almost always because they think it will make them happy. All we truly want from life is happiness. To obtain the happiness that mostly everyone seeks, it is key to focus on intrinsic aspirations.

People desire things like money, power, and fame (extrinsic aspirations) because they believe these things will make them happy. Based on scientific proof, we know it does not work like that. Those things are just a means to an end, which will result in a lower well-being for you in the long run. If you didn’t intuitively know this already, I strongly urge you to look up the results of Kasser’s research on extrinsic vs. intrinsic goals online.

Many people, especially in the western culture, are prone to seek extrinsic goals. We all know at a conscious level that money does not make you happy. But due to unconscious cultural influences we are basically programmed to seek material things like money as a means to happiness regardless of our conscious understanding.

This is mostly due to the mainstream media and other cultural outlets that program us to focus on extrinsic goals over intrinsic goals. Simply being aware of such an unconscious influence allows you to begin to shed your cultural programming so that you may experience the state of well-being that you desire.

Once you are aware of such unconscious influences you must exert your will to focus on intrinsic aspirations in achieving your spiritual growth. You must continue to work with the law of attraction and personal growth information but with a sole focus on intrinsic goals. This is the only way you will ever obtain your desired results. This goes without saying, but also be wary of metaphysical information that focuses on extrinsic values!

In the bigger picture, it will not be until humans offer the deepest respect for all of life, that humanity will know its highest, most noble self. Only when we focus on intrinsic goals like self-acceptance and our deep interconnectedness, will we know what true happiness is. The results of such a shift will profoundly impact all of earth.

All in all, this just comes down to basic metaphysics. Turn off your TV. Become aware of, and inactivate, limiting unconscious cultural influences. Make an effort to go within. Seek peace and love with yourself. Then, you must show that love and peace to all others (although it will come naturally once you have found it with yourself).

Obtaining happiness has always been that simple.

Jason Randhawa, author of this article among many other metaphysical writings, invites you to check out his WhatIsMetaphysics.com website. This free online resource contains his full autobiography, a bunch of metaphysical information, as well as a free metaphysics information package. This complimentary package includes the popular 7-Day “What Is Metaphysics” E-Course, a subscription to the Metaphysical Mind Ezine published bi-monthly by Jason, and access to the Metaphysical Library (a collection of over 25 spiritual E-Books). Get yours at no-cost here: http://www.WhatIsMetaphysics.com

There is no definitive meaning to happiness. It means different things to different people. Few are contended with small moments of happiness and few feel that happiness is the life’s path. Everybody wants to be happy but ironically, most of them don’t know what makes them happy. Happiness is more like a mental or emotional state of mind that tells you that ‘you feel good, so you are happy’. This is a vague and uncertain concept. People tend to associate happiness with the ‘comfortable life’. When a man has a successful career, an enviable house, a beautiful wife, lovely kids and enough money he is considered to be a happy man by others. But, in reality, he might not be a happy soul because; he finds happiness in being wanderlust.

Happiness is defined in the Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary as ‘a state of well-being and contentment‘ and also as ‘a pleasurable or satisfying experience’. The former definition talks about true happiness and the later, about the petty moments of joy. Even an unhappy person can experience the latter. True Happiness, can be defined as ‘a state of mind, in which you are not blindly satisfied by irrational wishes, you feel joy without any guilt’.

In day to day life, happiness is considered as an emotion or more like a reaction to your mood. Sometime when you feel elated, you assume you are happy irrespective of the state of mind or situation you are in. This is definitely happiness but, not true happiness. These are joyous moments that make you realize that, it feels good to be happy. These joyous moments can change the way you look at life and lead you towards true happiness.

All emotions arise out of a cause. Like anger, hate, jealousy, happiness is also an emotion. The cause for happiness is rationale contentment. So, this means only a rational human being is capable of happiness. The goals must be rational, value must be rational and actions must also be rational without conflict of interest or guilt. Happiness as a skill could be developed when one understands the concept of ‘contentment’.

Is happiness important in life?

Of course, happiness is very important is life. The reasons are endless. To state a few, it helps you stay healthy, think clearly, increases longevity, gives an optimistic view to life, lets you love and be loved and even makes you less violent etc.

Happy people tend to take care of their health in a better way than those who are not. Happiness will increase your consciousness and responsibilities. So when you are truly happy, you will be able to think clearly and this is one of the good reasons why happy people try their best to avoid bad habits. They eat healthy food, exercise moderately and most of all are less stressed. The more contentment you finds in life, the lesser is your stress level. It is reported that 65% of heart disease oriented death around the world is due to stress. More often than not, stress is takes a toll only when our thoughts and actions are not clear.

When you are happy you feel good about yourself. The biggest obstacle to happiness is that, you tend to undervalue what you are capable of and over value what you are not. So, you don’t feel good about yourself and this creates low esteem and inferiority complex that adds to the misery. These feelings make you think and believe that people don’t have a good opinion about you. Well, though this is not entirely true, this is justifiable. When you don’t believe in yourself; why would others? As a matter of fact, the more you trust this, the more it becomes a reality. Only when you feel good about yourselves you can make people think well about you. So yes, happiness is very important for self esteem.

When you are happy, you look at life from an optimistic view. Your mind sees negative things as temporary obstacles and motivates you to break them. This emotion helps you solve problems logically and quickly. Your mind is open to analyze the situation and help you take a clear decision. Studies show that people who are happy are able to concentrate better and learn new thinks and develop new skills as their mind is devoid of unnecessary thoughts.

Everybody wants to be the center of attraction and it sure does make your day when someone gets attracted to you. Attraction need not be merely physical. Happiness is one of the attraction factors. Generally, human beings like to be associated with happy people. When you are happy, people around you tend to get the vibe.

‘Smile, who knows? Someone might fall in love with it’. Studies show that when you are happy you tend to fall in love and also attract someone to fall in love with you. Happy people have more friends and get romantically involved or get married. When you seem happy, you are likely to be admired, respected and even envied sometimes. In a way, happiness is a blessing indeed.

On the other hand, an addiction is something that could be described as a doing and relates to the actions that one takes. It is possible for one to be addicted to something without thinking about it all the time; and for someone to be obsessed by something without the need to act on the obsession.

Examples

One can become obsessed with anything and this can be to do with people who are: actors, musicians, sports stars or models. Just as one can become obsessed with: losing or gaining Weight, looking younger than they are, looking good at all times and to eating the right foods.

As well as these examples, one can also be obsessed with: fame, success and winning. And this can relate to a man or a woman that one is in a relationship with or someone who one wished they were in a relationship with.

Obsessed

The words ‘you’re so obsessed’ are often expressed when one person becomes aware of this in another person. An obsession can then seem to be something that one should feel ashamed of for having.

And while it is clear that it could well lead to dysfunctional and unhealthy experiences, it is clearly not black and white. Although it may well be displayed as something to be avoided, it can also lead to incredible productivity, achievement and success.

Focus (Dedication)

However, this will of course depend on what one is obsessed with. If one is obsessed with losing weight for instance, it can lead to both positive and negative consequences. On the positive side, it will mean that one is likely to stick to the process and not give up on what needs to be done.

It could also mean that one will lose sight of everything else in their life and the balance that this would bring; creating intense stress, anxiety and pressure in the process. And due to the attachment that being obsessed creates, it may result in one feeling hopeless, disempowered and even depressed if it doesn’t go to plan.

Attachment

This gives us an insight into what obsession actually is. It involves the mind attaching to something. And once it has attached to this, be it an idea or a person, it will not let go; A bit like a baby with a dummy.

Here ones whole focus will be consumed by an object, idea or fantasy. There will be no space or time for anything else to be allowed into one’s mind. So what the ego mind can do though this process, is to regulate uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions.

Regulation

An obsession could be labelled as a defence mechanism. At first glance it would be easy to point the finger at ideas, objects or people and to say that these things have power over the person who is obsessed. But this is only part of the equation.

Through being attached, they are acting as a distraction and as a way to avoid what is too painful for the mind to face. So, as I mentioned above; they are helping to regulate ones emotions, but this is unlikely to be a long term solution.

Part Of Life

Unless one lives on a mountain or in the middle of nowhere and away from everything, there is going to be internal unrest at times. And one way to deal with this is to become obsessed to something that will take ones attention away from the pain.

And if that is something that will lead to a sense of fulfilment being created and not to long term problems, then it is surely a good thing. At times this may lead to sense of unbalance; but that’s part of life and can’t always be avoided and neither does it need to be.

Awareness

What is important here is that one is aware enough to monitor this process. To evaluate what is happening and then to decide if it is leading to or will lead to the consequences that one wants to create.

It would easy to say an obsession is a bad thing, but it’s obviously not that simple. How emotional aware and intelligent one is, will go a long way to defining what one is obsessed to and how obsessed they become.

If this has become a problem in one’s life, then they may need to seek the assistance of a therapist, healer or coach. Or to educate themselves further on this important topic.

When I did a recent survey on every day stress, I had no idea what the results would be. I was amazed when more than half of the participants rated daily stress at a level higher than 5, from 0 to 10. More than half of them experience high levels of stress on a regular basis. Does this sound right to you? What are we missing here? Do we really need to live our lives this way?

Most of the time, we only realize how stressed out we are, when we already have the symptoms, such as irritability, anxiety, poor health, physical pain, memory loss, constant worrying, poor judgment; the list is really lengthy. Research has shown that stress contributes up to 80% of all major sicknesses.

Stress is something that we all need to manage; sometimes it cannot be avoided so the key is to learn how to manage it effectively. Like many other essential skills in life, managing stress is one of them but we were not taught the skills that we need.

The way you deal with stress is most likely a habit for you now, we all develop different coping mechanisms and we do this unconsciously. The level of stress that you experience in a moment can be really realistic but it can also be the way that you are viewing the situation and handling it that can make it more stressful. In other words, we create unnecessary stress as well.

Here are some ways that you can effectively remove stress from your life and start to experience a different reality.

1. Identify the source of the stress

Think about all the things and situations that normally make you stressed. We have every day stress, at the office, traffic and at home. Big events or changes can also bring about stress, a death of a loved one, changing jobs, moving houses, surgeries, etc, all of these add to your overall level of stress and the more of these experiences you have, the more stressed you will feel. The first step is identifying what makes you stressed and what contributes to the levels you experience.

2. Either get rid of the stress contributors or learn how to cope with them

Looking at your list, what are some of the elements that you can get rid of?

For example, if you are always rushing to get to work on time, waking up ten minutes earlier might help to reduce that stress.

Once you have come up with a few strategies to reduce the stress in your life, look at the things that you can’t avoid or remove. If you can’t remove these stress elements, how can you cope with them better? The best way is by managing yourself in the situation.

For example, you arrive to work and look at your tasks for the day. The long list in front of you looks very daunting and overwhelming and you wonder how you are going to get through it. Then your boss gives you another deadline which apparently you need to squeeze in with all your other tasks. You have two options in the way you manage this.

Option 1: You start to panic, feeling flustered and resentful towards your boss. You can’t think straight and your thoughts are facing around ‘how can he do this, how on earth am I going to get this done, this is impossible, this is so unfair… ‘

Option 2: You take a deep breath, look at all your tasks, your thoughts are along the line of ‘wow, OK, this is a challenge but it is OK, I am confident I will get everything done. So what do I need to do to be able to get everything done? What is the first step?… etc

The pivotal part is in the way you view stress immediately, your perspective of the situation. You can see with the two examples shown, that the outcomes will clearly be different. The conversation you have with yourself is the best way to start to cope with stress.

3. Develop necessary skills

Start to improve the way you manage your time to feel more organized and be more in control of what you are able to achieve. If you don’t manage your time effectively, you could be adding unnecessary stress, because if you managed your time better, you would be able to get more done.

4. Learn how to relax in the moment when you need it

When you feel stressed, your body feels it everywhere, tense, accelerated heart beat, lack of focus, etc. Learning how to relax can make you feel much better in that moment. Breathing deeply when feeling stressed is a really effective tool to calm yourself down. Stop what you are doing and take deep breaths in and out. While you are breathing in, imagine breathing in power and relaxation and when you breathe out; imagine you are breathing out the stress and releasing it. With just 10 repetitions, you will feel amazingly different. Also take up mediation or other activities which force you to relax if that resonates with you.

5. Find more enjoyment regularly

When you have one stressful experience after another, it can leave you feeling really worn out and even depressed. What is one thing that you incorporate into your life to enjoy it more? What is one change that you could make to your lifestyle to give you more peace? When you feel happier, your stress automatically lessens

A great way to gain more insight into your stress levels is to ask your family and friends what they think. How stressed do they think you are and how do you normally deal with it? This can give you some great insights to help you deal with this.

You most likely started to read this article because something inside of you wants to have less stress in your life. Taking on a few of the suggestions I gave or all of them will help you to effectively remove stress from your life. Which one are you going to try first?

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. ~Terri Guillemets

Let’s talk about something we all have a lot of, and don’t need any of.  They’re called excuses. And they have this amazing, almost superhuman power to keep us STUCK.

Well… at least they did until now. Today we’re going to do a special exercise that will literally knock the stuffing out of your excuses and reduce them to the pathetic, lame, well… excuses that they are!  This is a pretty easy exercise.

Step One. Think about a personal challenge or indecision you’re facing.

Step Two. Think about the thing that you know you need to do to get unstuck (but aren’t doing).

For instance, if you want to get in shape, maybe you’re still sneaking the Snickers bars. Or if you’re stuck in a job you hate, maybe you haven’t been building your skills to get ready to go after something you’ll truly love.

(P.S. There’s usually a “but” hidden below the surface of Step Two. For example, your self talk may be: I want to get in shape, but I don’t have time to work out.)

Here’s the clarity: The truth is that you already know what to do… so drop the “but”!

Interesting to note that so often we get stuck on our “but”, instead of moving ahead on the thing we know we need to do! When you drop the “but” in the above example, you’re simply left with “I want to get in shape.” BAM! That annoying excuse just magically disappeared, leaving you with the bare naked truth: You already know what to do.

So back to the exercise…
You’ve done Step One and Step Two. Now, write down all the reasons you can’t do that thing you know you need to do to get unstuck, but for whatever reason, you aren’t doing it. Keep writing and writing and writing. Write 100 pages if you have to!

This is where it gets fun. At some point in this process, your brain is going to get tired of all these excuses! And all of a sudden, out of the blue, it’s going to switch. It’s going to jump up and down like an exuberant 5th grader and say “Wow! I had no idea I had so many clever excuses!”

It’s kind of amazing when that happens… you’ll find that you’ll automatically start arguing back with yourself, and you’ll start writing down all the reasons you can!

The key is to keep writing excuses until the switch happens. Because eventually, even if you have a zillion of them, you’ll start to see how all those excuses sound, and feel, and even are the same thing…
… excuses to stay STUCK.

You don’t need ‘em. So let’s get rid of ‘em.

Learn how to do parkour and you will be able to run up 8ft walls, leap across gaps, vault over rails, fly through your environment, and take drops up to 10ft with the same amount of impact as a normal person doing a jumping jack (it’s been scientifically proven).

Learn how to do parkour and if you are ever put in a critical situation where you need to escape from four thugs trying to mug you, catch someone who just stole your girlfriends purse, and etc., you will know exactly what to do, you won’t be scared, and you will succeed.

Master the dicipline of parkour, and it will be a joke when people try to chase after you, you will almost hope some one tries to steal your bag because the real life chase would be so much fun and easy.

Another good thing about parkour is that it is a great way to stay in shape, it works your whole body and builds efficient muscle. So whether you are a guy or girl, trying to lose weight or get extremely cut, parkour will get you there. It’s also a lot of fun! Once you get started you will quickly become addicted and it will actually change the way you look at the world around you (most traceurs, including myself, will tell you this first hand).

MISCONCEPTIONS OVER PARKOUR

Parkour has recently gotten very popular on television and in film. They show guys doing death defying jumps and enormous roof gaps across buildings.  This is NOT how parkour is!

Most of your training is spent in a low to ground safe environment. You start off small and gradually build your way up. It takes years of training for the big jumps that you see on television and they are not performed often.

We traceurs only perform a risky move when we are either put in a critical situation or have trained on that specific move and are 100% confident in the jump. If we are not feeling it for what ever reason we do not do it.  The last thing you want to do is severely injure yourself or die.

Some people think we are hoodlums that damage property and have no respect. This could not be any further from the truth. Traceurs respect their training areas, more so than the normal person. The architecture and obstacles almost become a part of us, the last thing we would want to do is harm the training spot that we use. We don’t want to damage property or harm anyone we just want to be able to move freely in our environment.

HOW TO GET STARTED

Parkour is a very physically demanding discipline. Always consult a physician or doctor before you begin training.

No matter what age you are or physical level you are you can train parkour. It’s all about starting off at a level that is comfortable with you and building your way up.

Parkour is also very inexpensive to get into. Ha all you really need are some comfortable workout clothes and some running shoes.

The best places to train parkour are usually parks, college campuses, downtown city areas, and any other location that has a variety of obstacles

Here are the three steps to getting start!

STEP #1- Learn all the basic movements

You need to learn all the basic moves, what they are and how to do them. Here’s a list of the basics-

Basic Landing, Parkour roll, Dive Roll, Precision, Stride Precision, Plyo jump, Crane, Wall-run, Cat Leap, Tac, Cat to Cat, Lache, Turn Vault, Speed Vault, Kong Vault, Diving Kong Vault, Double Kong Vault, Dash Vault, Reverse Vault, Kash Vault, Underbar, Balancing, Cat-Balance

STEP #2- Conditioning

You need to condition your body for parkour as well. Most parkour conditioning is performed with just your body weight. Conditioning goes hand in hand with training the basics to parkour. The stronger and more coordinated your body get the faster, easier, and more powerful your movements will become.

A lot of times the parkour movem

ents themselves will be added into the conditioning routine. You will want to condition about 3 times a week and involve a mix of specific workout routines.

STEP #3- Start Training

You have to get out there and start training. Start off small and gradually build up. So start by practicing a small precision jump, from one line to another on flat ground. Then when you get comfortable and successful with that, try jumping back and forth to lines at different lengths. Then move to jumping back and forth to raised up objects, such as two curbs. Then build up to two ledges. Then to two rails.

That is how the cycle goes. Learn the basic moves, condition, and then train at a small level and keep increasing as you get stronger and more comfortable.

THE BASIC LANDING

Here’s the steps to the basic landing to get you started.

You must learn the basic landing before you learn any other moves or else you will not know how to land out of the movements and if you’re jumping off of something you will risk injuring yourself.

STEP #1- LAND ON THE BALLS OF YOUR FEET

You ALWAYS want to initiate the landing on the balls of your feet. You NEVER want to land flat footed or on your heels.

When you land flat footed or on your heels your body will act like a stiff board and will not be able to absorb any of the landing. All of the force and pressure of the jump will go straight into your joints and back. If you do this off of a medium to high impact jump you will injure yourself.

You want to land on the BALLS of your feet and allow your muscles and joints to act naturally, bend properly, and absorb the impact. This will allow your body to act like a spring that absorbs the force and the impact and puts less pressure on your joints and back.

STEP #2- DON’T LET YOUR LEGS BEND BELOW 90 DEGREES

Do not allow your legs to bend below 90 degrees. When you bend your knees below 90 degrees you are putting too much stress on your knee joints and it means you are not landing properly. If you are landing a drop that you won’t be able to absorb fully with your legs go into step # 3

STEP #3- GO TO YOUR HANDS ON A BIG DROP

If it’s a big drop that you won’t be able to fully absorb with your legs without bending below 90 degrees, you want to bring your hands down to the ground for extra support.

So you will lean your body slightly forward, keep your back straight, hands directly in front of you with your arms straight but with a slight bend, palms facing the ground, and use your hands to take away some of the impact.

You should almost resemble a gorilla, with legs bent and hands touching the ground. After you absorb spring up and forward. This will allow you to keep your legs from going below 90 degrees and enable you to absorb a lot more impact.

Now this basic landing should not be used when you have a lot of forward momentum with your jump. For example, if you were running and jumping off of anything above 4 feet with a lot of forward momentum you will want to perform a parkour roll, which is an advanced landing.

You also would want to use the parkour roll instead of a basic landing if you were jumping out off of anything above 6ft. The basic landing works well for small jumps, but the parkour roll is essential for taking big drops.

For every cause there is an effect, however predictable or unpredictable it may be when the cause occurs. You know that if you borrow money, you will have to make payments. You also know if you don’t make the payments that the lien holder has the right to take away what you borrowed against. If you are unhappy with the resulting effect of something you have done, then the only way to change it is to cause. If it is too late to change the present, then you can at least change future causes so that future results are less like the earlier bad results. Managing cause and effect is how people control the future.

Just like the laws of physics, human dynamics are the result of interacting components (other people) not just one person. Everything you think and do creates an attitude in and about you. If one person likes another, it is because that person’s thoughts and behaviors are compatible with their own. Conversely, if one person dislikes another, then it is likely because attitudes are not compatible. Each person’s decisions created a cause, and the effect is how well they get along. In a world where networking is essential, a person who has a disproportionately large number of “incompatible” meetings is not going to do well. If success is important, then that person must reconsider what causal choices have been made to create the effective rejection the person has experienced. To change his/her own destiny, a person must change him/herself.

The method of execution is as much a cause as the action itself. If a like or dislike is expressed with respect, then it demonstrates awareness of other people who are exposed to the expression. The internal cause of the feeling being expressed is a sign of the individual’s opinion which may not be shared by the audience, but the effect of a respectful delivery is usually a respectful reception. Exchanges of a positive nature are beneficial even if they are exchanges of disagreements; mastery of cause and effect is a direct path to success in the broadest sense since it exists whether or not people are aware of it. Actively manipulating causes such as your own behavior directly implies active manipulation of the effect – the opinions of others about you.

Successful people follow a similar pattern. They create confidence by being confident and knowledgeable. They generate support by offering it. They generate rewards by offering them. By modeling one’s own behavior after this pattern of positive interaction, a person can create his/her own success. Success is not an accident. It is the logical result of logical events.

Failure is also the logical result of logical events. The choices a person makes affect the choices others make, and if those choices are bad then the results will be too. Who a person associates with himself is an extension of who that person is. If you are not attracting the kind of people you want to attract, then it is up to you to discover what it is that would attract them then decide if you are prepared to make that change. The person you are today is the product of who you chose to be when you were younger, and who you will be tomorrow is a product of who you choose to become today.