I am with hundreds of children every week. I meet new kids every day. And it is funny to realize that a personality is molded from the second they are born. Crazy, right? What makes the difference between the three-year-old that is hiding behind their parents legs when I meet them, and the three-year-old that immediately starts playing with me? I have a feeling it is all about their biggest role models: YOU. But let’s get deeper into that. How is it that you decide if your kid is outgoing or shy? Like I said in my first post, they do as you do.. they are sm art… they can feel your energy, your subcommunications in body language and tonality. They may not understand what you say to others but they can feel it. If you give off confident, positive energy towards others, they will learn from that. It is innate for a child to pick up everything you do and say.
The next thing you must do is train them from the young age of two. In my opinion, the second your child wakes up to their second birthday is the day I stop seeing them as a baby. I have met two year olds more charming than some adults I know. They make eye contact, speak loudly, smile, address the other person, and have great manners. How is that? You must constantly be teaching them social skills every day.
Here are some tips:
When bringing them into a new social situation, have them make eye contact with others regardless if the person’s age is two or twenty-two.
Have your child introduce themselves to new people with this simple phrase: “Hi, I’m Josh.” Then have them put up their hand for a high five or a handshake depending on the social context.
When addressing anyone, have them say the person’s name as a matter of respect: “Mr. Anthony, I need help,” “Goodbye, Aunt Lynn!” “I want to watch the TV, Grandma.”
Where would teaching manners be without teaching the infamous, “Please,” and “Thank you”? Though I’ll dive into that more in another post.
When ordering at a restaurant, have your child order for themselves, “I’d like the chicken fingers, please.” Never use, “Can I have…?” That is a bad excuse for politeness. I’ll explain that in another post as well.
These are some tips to get you started. Keep in mind that these tips are not something your kids will learn overnight, so don’t get frustrated if they don’t take to them immediately. Nevertheless, constantly implement these social skills into your child’s skillset, they are retaining the info regardless if they are using it or not.
The process to mastery is a slow one, but it is sure. Don’t falter with your teachings, and be steady with their implementation. What is important is your child’s growth, never speak for your child, no matter how long it takes them to conjure up words. If you are in a rush, remember, your job is not the life situation, that is secondary… the main focus is your child’s social growth.