Women tolerate this male idea of work till you drop and come home for R&R because for a while, they are the focus of the R&R. When relationships first start, men treat their partners with reverence and respect and as a result, they find relaxation and joy in sharing time.
However, it is my experience from dealing with many, many heart breaks that this focus on the partner is short lived. Within a relatively short period of time, men can easily become obsessed with work. Stressed they come home exhausted and the result is a relationship in which neither person is happy.
Stress, exhaustion and overwork is the only sign a woman needs that she is not being valued. She doesn’t need to examine the therapeutic side or the psychology of her relationship. Nor herself. Simply she can say “I’m not being valued”
The laws of nature would suggest that nobody values you more than you value yourself. Tolerance can therefore become a self abusive cycle in a relationship. That’s a different topic altogether. Compromise only breeds disaster. Blame is no solution from the woman’s side.
Men who can’t turn up happy and enthusiastic are really saying they are not evolved enough to handle their own ambitions. Ambitions grow with time. That’s the law of nature causing growth. People who shy away from that growth often get ill, especially with cancer. So, by admitting to ever growing ambitions, we are in harmony with nature. That demands growth in techniques.
Ongoing self mastery training includes stress management, time management and people management. If men don’t learn better ways of managing themselves or others, they come into conflict between their natural ambition to expand their world, and their capacity. This is called stress.
Sadly, because of this conflict between capacity and desire, relationships suffer.
Women need to know this information so they do not accept excuses from their partners because there are no excuses valid enough. The only reason for stress at work is the refusal to evolve. That’s why we say to men “evolve-ya-bastard” in the nicest possible way.
If you don’t appreciate it you lose it. So, by getting stuck in the conflict between capacity and ambition, men depreciate the thing that is often most precious to them, their family. There is no excuse.
What blocks allot of evolution for men is the unwillingness to explore options outside of their comfort zone. Soft issues like emotional awareness, spiritual consciousness, thought process, mindset. Instead you’ll find allot of men in stress recuperation mode. Visiting places for recovery from stress. This is the beginning of a huge problem in society.
By not evolving in their capacities, men start depending on stress relief. They start looking for balance systems. What this means is they are out of balance most of the time, and then they go do things to rebalance themselves. Now, during the out of balance part of this very dumb and clumsy cycle, what is happening? Who are these out of balance, stressed men affecting or infecting with their anger, stress, fear or whatever?
To evolve means to feel balanced while you are doing it. That means the process is self managing. The energy out is balanced by the energy in. There’s a healthy process that is not causing hearts to close and therefore there’s no need for a retreat for the hearts to open. The meditation becomes life itself.
I used to own a yoga school but I closed it for this one exact reason. Nasty, heart closed and stressed out people coming to yoga to “get spiritual” who’d walk out the door with the same dumb attitude they had when they walked in. Real change in life comes from the way we behave during life, not after it.
So, ladies, no compromise, and take your partner’s stress personally. It’s a direct insult at the value of the relationship. And blokes, Evolve-ya-bastards, it’s not hard.
Your Stress is Not My Stress
Learning to Separate yourself From other People’s stress
Other people’s stress is caused by their ignorance. You can label it and then accept it. There’s no need to change them or even fix them. Just label their stress as their ignorance and it’s ok. Sometimes we are all ignorant.
It is wise to have a non violent strategy to deal with other people’s stress dumping. People dump their stress on you allot because if the don’t dump it, they won’t sleep tonight.
Some people absorb other people’s stress dumping. They seem to be like a sponge for it. For others stress dumping just goes right over their head. Try to be the latter as much as possible. The best way to do this is to avoid wanting to be right.
So, avoid being right if you want to evolve and have a fantastic day.
http://www.chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au — http://www.chriswalker.com.au
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_J_Walker
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