What outcome or type of person do you identify with, or see yourself as being? This is an important question, because the answer directs your daily actions and habits. It is not enough to say that you are going to start doing healthy activities, you must subconsciously identify with that outcome. It is that personal identification, which motivates your behavior.
If you identify, or see yourself as a runner, then you will not have to “make time” to run, you will look for any snippet of time that you can get in a run. If you identify yourself as reader, you will seek out opportunities to read, it will not seem like a task you “have to” accomplish. Do you see the difference? If you subconsciously identify yourself as a lazy, overweight, and sedentary person, doing healthy activities would go against who you see yourself to be. This creates a foreign environment where you are attempting to do a task that you do not associate with who you are as a person. This misalignment causes poor long-term adherence to those tasks.
Therefore, the question becomes how to create a new identity that supports the outcome you want, because in order to achieve success there must be alignment between the two. If you look at anyone who has had dramatic weight loss and kept it off, he or she has undergone an identity shift. They now identify themselves with someone who is healthy, and someone who does healthy behaviors.
The process does not start out that way, but it gradually evolves as the person gains confidence through successfully completing small goals. To ac hieve new outcomes, seek to create alignment between what you want to achieve and how you see yourself, or who you identify with being. You will more easily participate in behaviors that support who you see yourself to be.
This is true even in the work place. If you identify with being, or see yourself as a salesperson, you will easily complete tasks that relate to sales, even though it might make someone else feel extreme fear. If you see yourself as an artist, you will confidently work on your projects, whereas someone else might not allow himself or herself to do the same activity. If you identify yourself as a nurse, you will easily complete tasks that others might find too uncomfortable to handle. Why is that? It is because, you fully see yourself as someone capable of performing that behavior.
Keep in mind that identifying with an outcome does not require you to have mastery over the behavior that creates the outcome. As in the above examples, this means you do not have to be a master salesperson to identify yourself as a salesperson. You do not have to be an award-winning artist to successfully complete artistic projects, and you do not have to be a nurse to successfully be calm in an emergency and offer basic care and comfort. Just as you do not have to be thin and highly fit, to engage in healthy behaviors. You must only see yourself as someone capable of achieving the outcome, and someone who engages in the behaviors that creates the outcome. That is all it takes to create a personal identity.
Are you starting to see the connection? Too often, people look at how they see themselves to be, and then allow their behaviors to align with that. It is time to shake things up! Stop allowing what someone else might think, to affect who you identify yourself to be. If you have ever thought, “I am not a _________, what would people think if I start acting like someone who is?” It is time for a personal reidentification experience to align you with who you “want” to be, versus how you currently see yourself. Begin the discovery process with this five-step breakdown.
- What would I do (be an artist/writer/singer, be a runner, be an exercise buff, be a fit-healthy person, or etc.) if I could be assured no one would make fun of me or question me?
- What outcome do I want to experience? (i.e.: I would like to see myself as a _____x_____.) What new identity would benefit my life?
- Am I willing to stay focused on the outcome I desire and identify myself with that outcome?
- What does a _____x_____ do on a daily basis, because it is part of who they are as person, not because they think they “have to” do that behavior?
- How specifically will I incorporate those kinds of behaviors into my lifestyle?
Once you have asked yourself these important discovery questions, you are on your way to creating the kind of alignment that leads to successful behavior change. Too many people try to put the cart in front of the horse, by trying to initiate behaviors that do not line up with who they see themselves to be. That is an uphill battle! Make this time different. Line up who you wish to identify yourself with first, and then begin to implement the behaviors that will complement that identity.
When you begin to act in a way that supports who you see yourself to be, you will begin to create flow. Flow happens when you find your personal alignment; it is like riding the current, versus paddling upstream. If you are frustrated with past efforts to change, consider getting in the flow. Make a commitment to creating personal alignment with who you want to be and you will more naturally achieve the outcomes you desire.
“Wellness Matters” Article Series by Lisa Schilling RN, CPT
Speaker, Writer, Wellness Coach & Consultant
Lisa Schilling is the author of “The Get REAL Guide to Health and Fitness-FIVE STEPS to Create Your Own Personal Wellness Plan” She juggles life as a doting wife and the mother of three boys, who keep her feet firmly planted on the ground!
Lisa is a Registered Nurse, author and recovering pageant queen, who spreads hope with her Get REAL approach to wellness. She empowers women, caregivers and groups to unleash their fullest potential by helping them to see their true beauty and discover their REAL value.
She feels passionate about spreading this message of hope and acceptance to help others be PROactive about their health and not simply REactive. Lisa uses her enthusiasm to inspire people to value and appreciate who they are. She helps people build a bridge from where they are, to where they want to be.