Notice Any Dramas in Your Head

Castles in the air cost a vast deal to keep up. – Baron Lytton

The most important thoughts to clean up and weed out are those you have about yourself. For most people, these are also amongst the most toxic thoughts they have. Early training in the culture of ‘minimizing the self’, so prevalent in most families, schools and religious institutions, ha 1s ensured that very few people have the ‘arrogance’ or ‘selfishness’ to think well of themselves.

We create the energy of self through self-beliefs, self talk

and the way we believe others see us.

We then act to preserve this sense of self.

The most common negatives are thoughts about self, thoughts about others, or thoughts based on fear, worry, guilt or shame which aims to control you, others or their reaction to you. In other words, most of our unhelpful thinking relates to concerns we have that our life will be OK.

The first step towards mastery of the mind, is to become an observer of what it does. To bring a balanced, unemotional observation to the imbalanced mind is the way to escape this destructive pattern of thought. Here are some questions you can ask yourself as you observe your mind doing its thing. Answering these will enable you to understand your mind, and once it is listened to, it will feel assured and is more likely to settle down. Those questions are:

• “Why do I choose to think or view things this way?”

• “What is the gain from worrying, fearing, and thinking “Control Drama Triangle thoughts” frequently?”e

• “What is my mind trying to protect me from, or prepare me for?”

• “What is my mind’s concern regarding what will happen if it stops this incessant negativity?”

• “When I haven’t thought negatively, have I put myself at any risk?”

• “What will happen if I banish all negative thoughts as soon as they arise?”

As you observe your mind,

You may notice it has some mindless habits.

Observe. Observe. Observe. Never stop observing. Your mind cannot think negatively while another part of you is watching the thinking process.

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Jeff Saunders has taught personal development and trained others in this field for over twenty years. He’s a counsellor, psychotherapist and life coach in private practice, and has trained counsellors, teachers and business people in the fields of communication, personal or professional development, and couples relationships. He’s written numerous articles for magazines on relationships and personal development, usually with a spiritual focus.

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