By Marilyn A Greenfield
Paying it forward has an appealing ring to it. Treating people as we would like to be treated on one hand seems like common sense but on the other hand, can be a pleasant surprise. Customer service in its truest form can be a remarkable experience. When someone goes the extra mile for us in their paid job, we are genuinely touched. However we know the pressure on service personnel who are being pushed to achieve sales targets and tempted to treat customers as statistics toward meeting those targets.
I like the idea of paying it forward. This tends to have most surprise when we pay it forward in a monetary sense. When we just help someone out by doing a noble deed, lending a hand or lending something we own, it seems as though it’s just being neighbourly or a good friend.
If someone spends money for our benefit and for no reward, we are amazed. If we try to buy our coffee and find someone unknown to us has paid for it already, we feel like we’ve received far more value than a mere cup of coffee. That may extend from having a parking meter fed for us to excess baggage being paid, the joy passed on is real, and the whole world seems a better place.
I also like the idea of living well by doing the right things. I work at maintaining good health. I watched a YouTube clip this morning of an 86 year old lady who is a gymnast, going through her routines for the floor and parallel bars, either of which would have people half her age lining up at the Physio after trying to do the same. Her ability is admirable.
Studies are sometimes published of people who have lived long lives. I am interested to see what discoveries have been made, and in the wisdom the people have passed on that I can make use of and share with others.
I read one such study recently called the Grant Study, of men who had studied at Harvard around 75 years ago and have been followed for those 75 years. When the statistics were analysed and the information boiled down, what do you think was the main ingredient to a fulfilled and happy life? It’s the old rule for life that was given to us 2,000 years ago. Love. Having it, pursuing it, enjoying it and keeping it. We were told to love others as you love yourself, and it was called the Great Commandment.
Something about giving love for no reason, paying it forward, resonates deep within. There have been great songs and movements that focused on love.
Love cannot live in a vacuum as it is an active verb. Going along with that idea, the study highlighted the importance of having connections with other people. The more relationships we have that are meaningful to us, the better life seems.
Jim Rohn said, “What is easy to do, is easy not to do.”
I would go so far to say that loving people is not always easy. We are inherently selfish, we want what we want, and we want it now. We see no problem in acting like a spoiled child giving in to a wilful attitude.
Common courtesy is not always so common as you may observe at an airline counter or sale line. There is often a sense of competitiveness and demanding our rights.
Like the findings in this 75 year-long study, we innately know that love is all we need. It’s what the world needs now just as it always did. It’s what you need, and I need and is the true meaning of paying it forward, giving without expecting a return.
What enables us to adopt a new way of living and thinking?
Desire is the key. If we truly want to do something, we’ll be motivated to do it.
Napoleon Hill wrote in Think and Grow Rich about the importance of developing a burning desire. That means an exceptional desire, live or die, this means everything to me, kind of desire. This is the first key to any achievement and the strength of that desire will be revealed in our ability to persevere with any new philosophy.
Paying it forward in love can be an expression of your life in every facet – your home, your family, your work. It’s an attitude that can be adopted and integrated that will give fulfillment, happiness and according to the Grant Study ‘Love is Really all that matters.’
Thoughts about living love:
- Love yourself, other people and beyond – make it expansive
- Creative expression – your greatest gift is your uniqueness
- Novelty is refreshing – keep yourself fresh by learning something new, taking small adventures, using your imagination and finding new ways to pay it forward
- Gratitude expands your fulfillment in every way
- Goals, dreams, and aims to work toward
- Positive self talk will lead to positive words for others
- Feed your mind – proactively fill your mind