I’ll change the names and a couple of details for privacy and I’m sharing this story with permission.
My Client, we’ll call him Frank, had been sick, hurt and very unhappy for a week or so. Their flu-like symptoms had been worsening, their chronic back pain had deepened to the degree that they took time off work – something they never did normally if at all avoidable. He was laid up at home for almost a week with their “illness” and pain till they saw a Doctor and started getting themselves back on track. The sickness came at the end of a very busy period for them personally and professionally. He was at the end of two major projects, one of which was dramatically behind schedule and all the pressure was squarely on Frank’s shoulders as it was his responsibility alone to get the current work done. At home, family pressure had been mounting over the last year with ill Parents and a move of house. On top of all this we’d been working on getting back in control of some of the loose ends that had unraveled in life and work over the years. THEN – KO’d by the flu and back!
We were on a Coaching Call when they’d got their voice back and I was hearing of the additional stress that had now developed with the injury and sickness as well as the time off. I asked Frank to stop and if we could look at this from the other side of the mirror… There’s always another angle and I wanted Frank to see it from a vantage he wasn’t used to.
I asked him what he wanted. He told me he wanted to be well and didn’t want to be laid up in bed at home when there was so much work to do. I completely appreciate this and I can imagine so do you. In fact I can almost bet 100% that so many people reading this have been in exactly the same place as Frank (or near enough to it). Here’s the next truth I hit Frank with and it’s been one I’ve been throwing out there for years:
You may not always get what you want but you will always get what you need
Frank may have wanted to get on with work but he needed something else. I then asked Frank to just go ahead and pretend that “everything had a purpose and reason for being” AND if “everything served us and a higher purpose” – then what did he get that was positive from all that had happened? What was it that he needed?
Straight away he knew the answer (as probably do you) – he got to take some time out from a very stressful time in his life and just stop and look after himself. To get himself to a place where he could again handle all that was required of him. He’d just worked himself into the ground.
Now this is probably obvious to many – remember though when you are in the middle of the problem or pattern it’s impossible to see it for what it is. You have to see it from a higher perspective to be able to truly orient yourself to the answer. This only helps us feel better about getting sick after the fact and about taking the time off. There’s got to be more because I didn’t want Frank (or you) getting to this place again. So I asked him:
What if you could identify the need and just take action to get that before life, the universe and everything conspired and compelled you to take it?
That made the difference. We identified when he needed to rest and take time out to keep on top of his game (inside and out) and planned them into his schedule. He set up a strategy to look after himself more so he didn’t need to get sick, tired or injure himself in the future just to get some time off. Oh – and Frank was pretty happy with the result and still is.
So here’s your bit.
What happened for you lately that’s forced something on you or stressed you?
What positive benefit did you get from that time or after it, because of it?
How can you cause that effect in the future without having to go through the crap again?
Now – go plan for it to happen.
Duane Alley spent the first 15 years of his professional life working with some of the biggest and fastest growing retail and franchise businesses in the country; he then spent 5 years as Head Trainer & Coach for one of the biggest Personal Development companies on the planet.
He has combined his extensive experience from the business world in delivering real world results with his success and study of personal development, rapid human change and shifting consciousness. Duane is hailed by many of his students and personal Clients as one of the top Personal Development Teachers and performance Coaches on the planet.
As a Master Trainer, Author, Speaker and Performance Coach – Duane works with businesses and entrepreneurs to quickly and easily improve their businesses and make more money and with individuals, couples and families to make simple changes and take small steps to live better lives day by day. You can contact Duane at http://www.duanealley.com.
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