Getting a divorce is no easy process. It becomes what feels like a never ending journey that touches on every single aspect of your life.
You’ve spent a lot of time and effort building something with your spouse together including perhaps a home, a family, financial affairs, and more and now you are contemplating chopping it up and breaking apart.
There are great cases why divorce is a good option. Major issues such as affairs, abuse, control, and more. Even in these extreme situations (these are never to be taken lightly) a marriage can be saved, but divorce may be the only way to deal with the circumstances.
With that said there are many other reasons why people want to get divorced. There are also many fantastic reasons why not getting divorced and working to salvage the relationship makes sense.
Below you will find some of those top reasons and how to implement them into your situation so that you can potentially save your marriage.
- Divorce isn’t a quick break. We’ve eluded to this above. It is a long process and journey of self discovery not made for the weak. It will wreak havoc in your life and those around you including your children. Take a look at your reasons why you want a divorce and really contemplate if that is the best choice for your situation.
- You took vows and should take those vows seriously. Is marriage hard work? Yes. Do relationships have ups and downs? Yes. Do you love this other person or could you find that love you once had? People get married for the wrong reasons all the time and divorce may be the best option, but if you love the other person and believe the marriage could be saved then go for it.
- You have a family and through years of hard work, sacrifice, and more have truly built something together. Don’t you want the fairy tale? Don’t you want the dream of growing old with your spouse? Again perhaps divorce, based on your situation, is the right way to go but if there is a glimpse of hope then do anything and everything to salvage what you’ve built together. Starting over isn’t an easy road to take.
- The grass isn’t always greener. You may think you are missing out on something or someone has recently caught your eye and you are feeling those feelings of excitement you get in the beginning phase of relationships. Perhaps you’ve gotten bored, in a rut, or just struggle with your spouse and daily life. This is normal and happens in marriage everyday. You can have that excitement back with your spouse. You just have to find it. It will take some doing, open communication, and working together but it can happen.
- Just because you have problems, leaving your spouse won’t solve them. Most of the time you end up taking those problems and more with you to other relationships. Typically divorce makes you face fears and other emotions that you won’t want to face. So don’t think it is the easy way out because it is not.
Do you communicate well? Do you work well together? What great aspects about your spouse do you love? Do you even want the divorce and if you don’t what actions do you need to take immediately to get help to save the marriage?
Action steps. Get real and be honest with yourself. You and your spouse need to sit down and have it out and talk openly, honestly, without the pride and ego, and get it all out on the table.
Chances are this won’t be easy and it you won’t see eye to eye. Couples tend to go after divorce when all hope is lost. This may take going to a third party professional or someone that can be real with you and make you see the forest through the trees.
However, saving your marriage can help you to grow as a couple and propel you to that level of understanding and mastery that will set you up for the future. Many marriages that get over this hump truly go on and have life long success.
I can’t tell you how often through my own divorce how many stories I heard. Whether it was called the seven year itch or other type of comparison, the ones that made it went on to vast success where the rates of divorce amongst the stories I heard seemed to dwindle. They all admitted that it takes work every single day but the love and the relationship grew extensively.
The others just didn’t make it and even in my own experiences most went on. Some struggled with future relationships and some went on to meet the people they were truly meant to be with. Whether they learned from prior experience or just realized their previous marriages were not meant to work and ended up finding the right person to spend their lives with.
Ultimately the decision is yours whether to save your marriage or call it a day and go through the divorce. Each situation is different and one that should not be taken lightly. Just know that you are at a crossroads and either path will have its ups, downs, and roadblocks. Go forth with confidence and be true to yourself and those you love along the way.