Your Ego Is Not to Blame
by: Andy Grant
Many of today’s most prominent personal development teachers are encouraging people to set their egos aside, to ignore directives from the ego, and to pummel their ego into submission. But perhaps it’s time we stopped all this ego-bashing. What if we ceased looking at our ego as a force to be reckoned with or as a contrarian who’s constantly tripping us up? Then we can begin to see a different perspective. You might consider that your ego is serving you perfectly, in every moment. Your ego is keeping you safe and protected (and doing a darn near perfect job, without getting an ounce of appreciation or credit for all its hard work). Truthfully, we can not cut out or cut off our ego, any more than we could remove our brain. Our ego is a part of us — a very vital, very beautiful, very important, very necessary part of us.
The ego’s job is to keep you safe and protected at all times. Even when the ego appears to interfere and cause us pain, it can be likened to “tough love,” causing us a small amount of pain in order to avoid a greater amount of suffering. When you can begin to embrace the unique nature of the ego (as well as its awesome power), and when you can actually begin to love that part of you, then you know you are on the path of true self-love. Creating a partnership with your ego can eliminate much of the unpleasantness you’ve experienced with ego in the past. Once you understand its unique perspective and it’s dedication and commitment to protecting you, you can harness the power of the ego to get what you want (instead of tripping yourself up and getting in your own way).
In most cases, people are internally fighting with their ego. But what if you took the perspective of unity? What if you saw your ego as a vital and hardworking part of you? And what if you realized that it really is a part of you — and it’s serving you perfectly in every moment? And what if instead of trying to dominate it, or even negotiate with it, you focused on connecting with your ego? In connecting, you can ask questions and gain valuable insights. You can discover what’s important to your ego, and what it stands for, and what it needs in order to feel safe and secure.
Now from THAT perspective, you can create a true win-win scenario (and who doesn’t love those?) As you build this partnership, keeping up your end of the bargain, your ego will learn to trust you, to let down its defenses, and to become more open to your suggestions (because it feels safe, and doesn’t feel as though it has to fight against you in order to keep you safe). But you don’t have to take my word for any of this. Why not try it and see for yourself?