Confessions of an Alpha Male
by: Jim DeSantis
Why is it that the most unlikely of men always seem to get the best looking women? You know who I mean. He is average looking, thinning hair, has a bit of a pot belly or spare tire, and certainly would not be mistaken for a men’s clothing model on the cover of GQ yet he always gets the hottest dates. Let’s discover how you can become that guy.
That guy is what is known as an “alpha male.” He is a babe magnet. No idea what an alpha male is? Simply put, alpha males project personal magnetism. It comes from having very high self esteem and that magnetism is irresistible to women. So, how can you become an “alpha male?”
First and foremost, by being honest with yourself.
When you see an alpha male dating only the most beautiful girl in the room, you feel inadequate in comparison. You compare yourself to him and come up short every time. What is really aggravating is you have no clue about how he does it. You wonder – “What does he have that I haven’t got?”
Step back from your internal mirror for a moment and consider a few things you are overlooking. You will be encouraged, I promise.
Watching an alpha male operate should really be encouraging, not discouraging. Because, the fact that this average looking guy can score so easily should mean that you have the ability to do the same. All you need to know is what he knows and just repeat his moves!
Let me give you what I call my “5 Quick Thought Shifters.” These will give you more confidence, coupled with correct body language, to start changing your dating life for the better overnight.
Shifter 1 – Be the alpha leader, not a beta follower.
Early man learned mating tactics from observing the animal kingdom. He observed that the strongest male was always the leader of the pack and the beta males served his needs. Alpha is in charge, beta follows from the shadows. With that said, the first step toward becoming an alpha is to stop being powerless and start taking charge.
If you have any of the following beta male traits, eliminate them:
• At social gatherings, your hands are in your pockets when meeting people.
• You look and act nervously most of the time.
• You have poor posture.
• You arms are crossed when observing or when talking with people.
• You act like you don’t belong.
• You are never in command of your space.
These behaviors, and others, send off negative “vibes” that automatically place you in low status compared to alphas and prove that you lack even minimal self confidence. You need to recognize your real flaws, admit them, and work on correcting them because, the first step toward being in command, being an alpha male, is to start acting the part.
Becoming an alpha male takes knowledge and practice! Just as there are no born salesmen, no one is born an alpha male.
Shifter 2 – Find the confident you.
Women will admit that they admire a man who controls his own world. This does not mean “arrogance.” Alpha males project an unspoken confidence, never being overbearing about it. This is one of their most powerful assets.
You could be a guy who works at a minimum wage job and lives in a two room apartment, but, if you project confidence, women will be attracted to you. Remember, they know nothing at all about you. They only see that you value yourself and that’s all that counts.
The first step toward true self confidence is to recognize your weaknesses and strong points as compared to an alpha male personality. I dare say, if you are not scoring with women, your number one problem is you lack high self esteem.
You need to really think about why you see yourself the way that you do. Alpha males generally are just average looking but, at some point, they realized they have something of worth to give. They focus on their accomplishments and talents, and remind themselves of those while they forget about the negatives.
Shifter 3 – Control her mood.
Great actors know that emotional communication is more important than dialogue and makeup. They want to communicate just the right mood to the audience. Alpha males understand this too. They are always calm and relaxed in social situations. They are very aware of the emotional mood they are creating. This is the attitude you need to adopt and to start living every day.
When interacting with women, beta males are usually off balance and not in control of their emotions. They stress about what she’s thinking; her facial expressions; what she is saying. Stress is a guaranteed mood crusher.
Alpha males, on the other hand, are always creating the right mood and enjoying the game.
Now, don’t get this wrong. I am not talking about putting on some phony act. Being a true alpha male is only one part acting and nine parts being. Alpha males actually do not need any woman’s approval, and in his mind, the woman must gain his approval. This is not being egotistical. This is being practical. It is narrowing the field to women who meet a certain set of guidelines for a relationship and rejecting the others.
Beta males place far too much importance on what a woman thinks and end up going home with only the morning newspaper!
Shifter 4 – Body language tells a powerful story of its own.
When it comes to effective body language, here are the most common traits of an alpha male. These are all deliberate actions made with a focused but calm thought process.
Learn these traits:
• Learn to easily make momentary eye contact, not too long, not too short.
• Never scan the room to see who might be checking you out.
• Be totally in command of your space. Be relaxed and comfortable.
• Relax your breathing. Breathe by using your stomach, not your chest.
Try these behaviors the next time you’re in public, and see how people respond. The results should amaze you.
Shifter 5 – Live life on your terms.
Beta males are always eager to please, thinking they can ingratiate themselves with others. The result is, they get used and abused by the people they are trying to get to love them.
Alpha males listen to different inner music. They have no need to impress others or to win affection. They call the shots for every step of their lives and in every intimate relationship. They remain true to themselves and their male-ness.
Alpha males are guys who will lend a helping hand but, instead of saying “Yes” to every request, they will quickly say “No” without explanation. When pressed, an alpha male may simply say: “I just can’t do it.” They run on their own schedule and will not allow the demands of other people to interfere with the way they live. People quickly learn to respect and envy the alpha male’s focused lifestyle.