by Mary Bodel

Our family has had a series of events that created a serious problem. While I won’t go into the problem I’m going to tell you what I have experienced. I know that there are others who are either going through this or have done and may need some encouragement. I hope this helps.

giving-up (1)

Calling my house a mess would have been a compliment. Three working adults, two huge dogs, a geriatric cat and a toddler can do that to both house and yard. Not only that, important things weren’t getting done or done on time.

I had to make a decision. My “job” may bring in fifteen cents a month if I’m lucky. It’s very fulfilling but it not only doesn’t pay it actually costs money to do it. I was the only logical choice. I had to give up.

Giving up meant more than just putting my writing on hold. It meant accepting the full responsibility for caring for my family and my home. Giving up meant a complete change in what I do and how I structure my day.

I have to tell you it made me cry. It still causes me to be teary eyed. To truly give that up and to truly accept serving others with love is not easy. It’s not easy to think about and it isn’t easy to do. Then something happened.

No, I haven’t (yet) started to make a ton of money from my previous work. That may come, but it’s no longer a driving force in my life. To be honest I don’t really care, because I gave it up.

giving-up

My house is getting back to normal. It’s going to take a while for the bigger jobs. My disability hasn’t gone away, but I have time to make things look good. I have time to do it slowly so I don’t hurt myself.

Another thing happened. I don’t spend five hours a day sitting at a computer writing, but the few minutes I do spend mean more. I think that my writing may actually improve… because I gave up.

You may wonder why this is under spirituality. I’m a Christian and my giving up wasn’t to myself or on myself. I gave up my agenda and am working towards what God might want me to do. Guess what? It does include writing. Just not for such long periods of time.

 

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