Deep in our hearts we each have an intense desire to be loved. Yet just as deeply, we know no one else really understands us, and that we are separated from those around us by differences we don’t fully comprehend. The “Family of Man” we long to share and belong to does not exist. We are just a bunch of desperate, lonely orphans. We would give anything to know how to be lovable.
Yet, now more than ever, wise and seemingly caring guides want to help us in our quest. A flurry of books and lectures tells us that change is mandatory for survival. While the recipes for harmony sometimes strike chords in our hearts, it is not enough to read the books or say the phrases. Only if the tools offered are actually used and do indeed make our lives better will we know the message was correct and we understood.
The majority of self-help books agree on one thing: Change is necessary for a more fulfilling life. Exactly what must be changed varies according to each author’s experience with change. Some have overcome unbelievable hardships and impairments to reach the levels from which they are writing. Others are obviously just good writers, cashing in on a marketing opportunity.
Some say the answers lie in justifying fears, anger and emotional suffering by holding someone else, usually a parent or spouse, responsible. Often another race or some other force at work in our life gets the blame for the mess in which we find ourselves. But one thing is for sure: We are not responsible. “They” are.
Other authors advise wallowing in an experience to extract from it the real meaning and consequently emerge free from it’s negativity. In a variation on this theme, some suggest communicating this real meaning to a significant other will somehow release us from our pain.
But the most amazing array of potentials comes from those who encourage us to make our own reality. Imagination is the key to most of these wondrous methods. Unfortunately, our new projection can be sustained for only so long until it fades and reality brings back the same old problems.
How many books, tapes and seminars does it take before the average hurting human being becomes so frustrated that they cry, “The true path must be there because all of these wise people say it is, but I’ll ever find it. I just can’t seem to make it work for me.” Life must have more to offer, something most of us are missing. Otherwise, God has a stranger sense of humor than any comedian working today.
Love, Peace and self-understanding do actually exist. There is a true path. But these states of being have realities of their own, and we cannot become aware of them until we know how.
Here’s the bad news. We can all agree that this thing we call our self, our ego, our personality, is somehow the cause of all our conflicts and negative emotions. This is the cold, hard truth: The self has no idea how to fix itself or it already would have. But no one else can fix our self . We must each do it. You’ve probably always suspected this but would rather no one would prove it because it appears to becomes a problem with no solution. This realization is extremely threatening, especially to those who have tried so hard to change in the past and have been unable to.
But the good news is that you can learn to fix the self by understanding four basic principles:
1) What the self is
2) How the self works
3) How the self got broken
4) How you can fix the self
Each of us made our self and only we can fix it. Real changes begin to happen as soon as repair begins and, as you become a better mechanic, the changes will be greater and come easier.
You will find that Life can be what you once dreamed it would be. When you better understand the self, you will understand how the Masters such as Moses, Jesus and Mohammed could be who they were, and how a Hitler could come into being. The rest of us are somewhere in between, so the journey either way is not as far as one might expect.