By Jason Lincoln Jeffers
No matter how much meditation or spiritual practice you do, until you comprehend how the pain-body manifests itself through you and through others, you will be tricked by it and subsequently slip back into unconsciousness every time it resurfaces. The first step is to realize that you have a pain-body inside of you. Think of it as a body or field of energy that prospers through your own anger, hatred, heaviness, anxiety, depression, stress, and fears of impending doom. However it manifests, it will be causing you to re-experience your early childhood trauma which is the time when your pain-body began to manifest.
And so it is like heavy baggage that you carry around with you. The heavier your pain-body, the more “baggage” you are carrying, and the easier it is to set it off and bring on an attack. In a sense, you are like a walking time bomb, hypersensitive and raw to the point where the slightest little derisive “tease” from someone results in a burning tension that consumes every muscle in your body. Anger swells and adrenaline pumps. Fury is then projected outward onto the other in an inner dialogue that says something like, “How dare she say that about me? Does she not know who I am… what I am capable of?” The ego becomes inflamed and feelings of diminishment and inferiority are immediately supplanted by intense feelings of anger and hatred toward the person who initiated the comment.
If you are hosting this parasite, most of the time it will be dormant. It becomes active when you suddenly feel it very strongly as in the aforementioned paragraph. Like a magnet, your pain-body has attracted the derisive comment from a friend, co-worker, or partner because it needs to feed on yet another experience of pain.
Think of the pain-body as separate entity that needs food just like you and me. Eventually it will provoke others to create instant reactions from them. It instinctively knows what works and it knows what buttons to push. And you may be surprised to learn that you won’t be aware that your pain-body will be doing any of this at the time. It will make insinuating and malicious comments toward others that they will find terribly offensive but at the time that you say these painful things, you won’t be the slightest aware that you’re hurting them. When a reaction is provoked, the pain-body is in heaven. It becomes a feeding frenzy. So, the mad drama that it creates is necessary for your pain-body to maintain its parasitical grip over your mind.
So the pain-body is much like a clever woodland critter that is constantly on the search for more food. It’s always saying something like, “I’m starving. Where can I find some more pain?” And so perhaps it will begin a conversation by condemning others, complaining about situations that have been recently annoying or problematic. It will say something like, “This situations sucks because that person is incompetent and this other person is just plain stupid and so if they would only listen to me, give me the credit that I deserve, and follow my advice then it would turn things around and everything would be much better.” Because the pain-body is an extension of the shadow, it will constantly be finger-pointing and blaming others for its own problems. In this way, it is able to give the ego a little boost with a rush of superiority over those with whom its demeaning.
One on one counseling sessions from a Spiritual Life Coach who is an expert on the pain-body can help you to become aware of it so that you can work toward dissolving it. Only by observing the pain-body entity in yourself and in others can you begin to loosen the grip that it has over your mind–and body.
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