Building Confidence – The Three Secrets That Show You How
by: Amanda Walker

Have you ever noticed that confident people do better at work, achieve more and tend to be more popular? This behaviour can be learned and achieved by anybody, through understanding the secrets of building confidence. It is essentially a skill which affects all aspects of our lives including our ability to communicate and develop interpersonal skills. Having acquired self confidence not only will you become more successful but you will also be able to inspire confidence in others. Some of the secrets of building confidence are given below:


Choose a confident role model, whether a film star, a relative or a person you admire, think of their qualities and their actions which make them self confident. Is it the way they walk, talk, laugh, smile which makes them confident? Pinpoint these exact qualities which make them your ideal role model. But the secret of building confidence is to incorporate these qualities within your self. Practice in front of the mirror and imagine yourself in certain situations, try to mimic your role model and how they would act. It may seem strange at first, but practiced often enough, eventually these actions will become an integral part of your own.


Being able to see your good qualities and accepting yourself is an important secret of building self confidence. Learn to forgive yourself for any short comings and move forward rather than dwelling too long on the past. Always remember to congratulate yourself on jobs well done. Working out at the gym or exercise, releases endorphins ‘feel good hormones’ which can also help you feel good about yourself, especially as you become and feel slimmer and fitter. Don’t think about what others think of you i.e. when dancing on the dance floor, move as you like, with the beat or off beat, enjoy yourself and people will admire you for it. Another example is when speaking out in group discussions; don’t be afraid to express your thoughts, however silly they may seem because most people are dealing with the exact same fears. Block the negative thoughts out of your head, push them out and think of positive thoughts instead.


Confidence (Photo credit: CarbonNYC)

An important secret of building confidence is to try to move away from your comfort zone. This means doing something different everyday. We all like routine and find ourselves in a set pattern of waking up, going to work, coming home, eating and going to sleep. This routine is comforting to us and that’s why we like it. But we do not learn anything new by it and hence we cannot develop ourselves further especially in new or different circumstances. Moving away from you comfort zone could include something as simple as discovering a new route to getting to work, trying a new activity such as yoga or Pilates or even trying out a new dish/recipe at home. Different experiences in different situations will help you to build confidence because you will feel more capable and have greater insight in these matters.

Of course, the secrets of building self confidence are not built overnight. It takes dedication and commitment. But it is achievable and is a skill that can be learned. The more self confident you become, the more appreciation and success you will achieve, which will further boost your confidence in a positive cycle. These confident actions and behavior will eventually become natural to you.


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